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Why is it difficult to forgive?

Forgiveness, a word that resonates deeply within our soul, is both a healing balm and a profound mystery. At the core of every spiritual practice and deep psychological exploration, the act of forgiving transcends mere action—it's a journey into the depths of the human psyche.


Why is it that even when we understand the liberating power of forgiveness, many of us still find it a difficult to forgive? Is it simply a matter of letting go, or is there more that lurks beneath? As we explore the intricacies of forgiveness, it's imperative to approach it not as a mere act but as a transformative process—one that is essential for both individual growth and collective evolution.


Through the lens of spiritual teacher and transformational priestess Juliana Arango, we'll embark on an odyssey to uncover the layers that make forgiveness seem elusive. Let’s delve into the complexities, the hurdles, and the immense freedom that comes when we truly understand and embrace forgiveness.



The Complexity of Human Emotions

Emotions are the tapestry upon which our experiences, both joyful and painful, are painted. They aren’t just transient feelings but repositories of our deepest memories, hopes, fears, and traumas. Our inability to forgive is, at times, rooted in these reservoirs of emotion.


When someone wrongs us, it isn't just the act that leaves a mark. The echoes of that act—a hurtful word, betrayal, or disappointment—ripple through the complex web of our emotions. These ripples touch upon past hurts, amplifying the pain and making forgiveness seem like a distant dream.


Consider a moment from childhood when a trusted friend betrayed your secret. The feeling of being let down may still linger somewhere, and when a similar situation arises in adulthood, it doesn't just resonate with the present hurt. It awakens that dormant wound, complicating the emotional response and the path to forgiveness.


It’s crucial to recognize that these emotions, while complex, are also fluid. They can transform and evolve, but only if we allow them to. Addressing past traumas, understanding the roots of our reactions, and nurturing emotional intelligence can aid in this transformative journey. After all, forgiveness isn't just about the other person—it's an intimate dance with our own emotions, requiring grace, patience, and profound self-awareness.



Ego, Pride, and The Fear of Vulnerability

Ego, often the unsung antagonist in our tales of personal growth, plays a pivotal role in the tapestry of forgiveness. It's the voice whispering that to forgive is to relinquish power, asserting that holding onto resentment is a testament to our strength. This mistaken belief creates a formidable barrier, making the path to reconciliation more intricate than it needs to be.


Pride further compounds this challenge. As society often equates forgiveness with weakness, our pride convinces us to uphold this facade of invulnerability. But what if we reframed our perspective? What if, instead of viewing forgiveness as a concession, we recognized it as an act of immense courage and strength? The strength to confront our vulnerabilities, the courage to acknowledge our wounds, and the power to reclaim our inner peace.


In our fear of appearing vulnerable, we often overlook a pivotal truth: vulnerability is the crucible of authentic connections. It's in our most vulnerable moments that our genuine selves shine, enabling deeper bonds with those around us. By clinging to our ego and pride, we inadvertently sever these connections, missing out on the richness of genuine human interaction.



Cultural and Societal Conditioning

Across history and cultures, narratives surrounding forgiveness have been shaped, reshaped, and sometimes distorted. Whether through folklore, literature, or media, society often propagates a dichotomous view: the avenger and the martyr. These narratives impact our subconscious, influencing how we perceive forgiveness and its role in our lives.


In many Western cultures, there’s an implicit emphasis on individualism and retribution. Think of the countless tales where the hero avenges a wrongdoing. On the other hand, Eastern philosophies often lean towards the idea of interconnectedness and the cyclical nature of actions, suggesting that forgiveness is a path to harmony and balance.


This cultural conditioning, subtly embedded through generations, shapes our reflexes when faced with betrayal or hurt. Instead of assessing our individual feelings and circumstances, we often resort to the templates society has set for us.


However, by recognizing these patterns and understanding their origins, we can begin to challenge them. Juliana Arango’s transformative work underscores the importance of this introspection. By tapping into ancient wisdom and connecting with the primal energies of the universe, we can transcend these conditioned narratives, crafting our own personal understanding of forgiveness. This is not a call to reject societal norms, but rather an invitation to merge ancient wisdom with modern insight, paving a path towards a more enlightened, individualized approach to forgiveness.



The Misunderstanding of Forgiveness

One of the most profound misconceptions about forgiveness is the belief that it equates to condoning the actions or behaviors that caused harm. This misunderstanding stands as one of the most formidable barriers to embracing the healing power of forgiveness.


The act of forgiving isn't about approving or accepting the transgression. Rather, it is a conscious decision to release the emotional baggage associated with the event. By holding onto anger, resentment, and pain, we inadvertently tether ourselves to the very event or person we aim to distance from. This attachment becomes a burdensome chain, anchoring us in a past moment and inhibiting our spiritual and emotional growth.


Juliana Arango’s teachings emphasize that forgiveness is an essential element in the journey towards self-love and inner transformation. Through her programs, many have discovered that forgiving isn't about the other person – it's a gift we give ourselves. It's the decision to no longer let past traumas dictate our current state of being and our interactions with the world around us.



The Journey to Self-Forgiveness

In the discourse on forgiveness, one dimension often overlooked is self-forgiveness. This journey, arguably more intricate than forgiving others, is crucial for our inner evolution. We all have moments where we fall short of our standards, where we act in ways misaligned with our inner truth. These moments can haunt us, leading to self-criticism and the internalization of shame.


The same reasons we struggle to forgive others — ego, pride, societal conditioning — are mirrored in our battle to forgive ourselves. The added dimension here is the intimate knowledge of our thoughts, intentions, and the nuances of our actions. This proximity can sometimes amplify our perceived wrongs.


Juliana Arango’s transformative experiences, from Kundalini Dance to her Alkimia Retreats, provide spaces for individuals to confront these inner demons. By delving deep into practices that awaken our primal energies, participants often find the strength and wisdom to extend the olive branch of forgiveness to themselves.


In the embrace of self-forgiveness, we find a profound sense of liberation. It’s the moment of understanding that our past actions do not define our worth. With this newfound freedom, we can step confidently into the future, driven by love, understanding, and the desire for genuine connection — both with ourselves and the world around us.

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